oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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