no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
