just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
