So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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