Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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