I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize