"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
