you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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