"it" just moved
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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