you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's the barista slut.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
