i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
