ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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