and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
