I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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