just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
