Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize