The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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