My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he thought i was a dude.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
