I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
