I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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