I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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