It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
