I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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