He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
