the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
