I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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