My hand turned me down
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
