I'm eating all of the evidence.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
