I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
