ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
