So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
