after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
