Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
