It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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