that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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