she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
