Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

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(905): View more from Ontario

i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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(281): View more from Texas

You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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(240): View more from Maryland

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA

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(819): View more from Quebec

I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.

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(509): View more from Washington

You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.

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(941): View more from Florida

It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it

(941): View more from Florida

Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini

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