i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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