Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
