Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
