Me too!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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