Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
