i just had sex bonerless
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
