I wanna bring you to show and tell
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
