They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
