miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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