my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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