I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
