New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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