the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Say something about gay babies.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
