the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
