I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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