So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize