My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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