Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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