There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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