How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
