It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
