Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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