sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How external is "for external use only"?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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