Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
